Cartoons > Super Mario Brothers 3
Title: Reptiles in the Rose Garden
Episode Writers: Bruce Shelley, Reed Shelley
The koopalings have always been known for their mischief and mayhem, but only one Koopaling stands out as the spoilest of all spoiled brats: Kootie Pie. In Reptiles in the Rose Garden, you will see Kootie Pie's personality in a big way. And you thought the girls on MTV's My Sweet Sixteen were bad.
It is the day of Kootie Pie's Sweet Sixteen and so far, the princess of meanness is not happy. With much dissatisfaction of her day, she tosses her gifts out of the window at castle Koopa. Koopa tries to explain Kootie Pie about his efforts in providing the best gifts a girl could want, but to this spoiled Koopaling, it's not enough, and goes into a tantrum. With no option, King Daddykins asks what Kootie Pie wants. His daughter replies that she wants the United States of America. Despite the impossibility of obtaining a land in another world, Kootie Pie insists on taking over the "land of the free", even if she gets it kicking and screaming (which she does). Bowser has no choice, but to find a way to get what his "sweetums" wants.
It just goes to show you that as the toughest and nastiest villain in the Marioverse, Bowser Koopa is no match for Princess Kootie Pie Koopa and her tantrums.
Meanwhile, the Mario Brothers, Princess Toadstool, and Toad are taking a stroll, feeling content. Since it's a Koopaling's birthday, especially Kootie Pie's, the good guys can relax and not worry about any Koopa attacks.
But not for long!
Just as they were about to relax, the Koopa family's main airship, the Doomship, attacks the heroes, who mainly stay still (well Mario does duck) during this whole ordeal. Thank goodness the bad guys in these television shows have lousy aim. The princess tries to be brave by reasoning with the Koopas, but soon the reptilain family unleashes Chain Chomps that bite each of the heroes' feet. Satisfied that her enemies are captured, Kootie Pie gloats that she will be "Empress of America" and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
Soon, Koopa and his daughter have arrived at Washington, D.C., and somehow, they have easily managed to find a free parking spot: over The White House. It just so happens that this house on Pennsylvania Avenue is Kootie Pie's next target. After all, in order to take over a country, you have to usurp its current leader. And that's what King Koopa did. He orders his Sledge Brothers to use a tractor beam to lift the White House away to Dark Land. With the White House gone, Kootie Pie begins her reign.
The reporters from different news channels have gathered for the new ruler's press conference, in which Her Meanness has developed new laws: all children must give her all of their toys; any cute boys who don't date her will be turned to stone (quick, hide Masi Oka); all the gold must be converted into ugly charm bracelets. This act of pure chaos has made King Daddy very proud (in tears) of his little Koopa girl.
Back at Castle Koopa, our heroes observe from their cell the White House and the President, who is still on the phone, unaware of the events going outside (like Bush and Hurricane Katrina). However, thanks to the foot fetish Chain Chomps and the little group of Fire and Boomerang Brothers, they are stuck. Thankfully, the princess uses the power of persuasion to create a little brawl between the weaponed turtle minions.
Audi faman illius...
Not that kind of brawl.
Anyway, with this type of ruckus going on, the princess tells her friends to lift the Chain Chomps in hopes the crossfire hits the chains. The plan works and soon the four make a break to a pipe that leads outside of Castle Koopa. But celebrations would have to wait, for the Doomship has pulled in front of the fortress of doom. Koopa makes his announcement to his other kids that Kootie Pie has got the perfect gift. It is then that Big Mouth makes the best line that could not be any more true: "Give that brat a country and she finally stops nagging!" To add more satisfaction to the Koopa family's latest plot, Koopa takes his tractor beam to lift The White House and drop it into the sea. The First Lady, who looks like Barbara Bush, calls for help like she's underwater, even though she's still in the house. Thankfully, Mario comes to the rescue by finding a treasure chest and dons a Frog Suit.
Frog Suit: most useless power-up ever.
He jumps into the sea and swims around a Blooper Nanny with her Baby Bloopers, who crash onto a Note Block that jumps up, and a Jelectro, who lost Frog Mario through a maze of pipes. Finally, Mario reaches The White House, where the First Lady was waiting. With his mad plumber skills, Mario arranges the pipes to create a jet propulsion to lift The White House above water, leaving it afloat. Yet, the President doesn't seem to notice anything while he's pretending to talk to someone important on the hotline.
However, the mess isn't all over, as the Princess and Luigi tell Mario that the Koopas are planning attacks on all the world cities, including Brooklyn. This leaves Mario and Luigi to stow away on the Doomship wearing low-rate Hammer Brothers Suit. Of course, the Sledge Brothers notice the shoddy craftmanship and chase the Mario Brothers using their large weight to shake the ground and Sledge Hammers to lob at them. With Luigi holding the minions, Mario takes the controls of the Doomship and the tractor beam. However, since he doesn't bother reading the manual of any machine (like most of us), he got The White House atop of The Washington Monument. With new adjustments, he drops The White House back on the lawn, right where Kootie Pie is lounging.
Somehow, Kootie Pie dodges a split second before The White House crash-landed and yells at Mario for trying to kill her and ruining her birthday. Mario tells the princess of meanness to climb aboard the doomship. Kootie Pie refuses and starts her trademark temper tantrum. Like everybody, Mario has enough of Kootie Pie's tantrum and uses the tractor beam to warp Kootie Pie to Castle Koopa. Finally, he pilots the Doomship and crashes into Castle Koopa.
Give him a break. He doesn't read instruction manuals.
The wreckage of the Doomship has made Koopa very upset (I guess he doesn't have insurance). Of course, Kootie Pie doesn't care; her plan is foiled, her birthday is ruined, and her father is too lazy to keep his enemies locked away so that they wouldn't ruin her life. It was then that Koopa finally develops a nerve to talk down on his spoiled daughter and threatens her to stop her whining. Kootie Pie resists and soon Koopa starts his roaring rampage of orders and ground-shaking stomps. In the end, as Mario puts it, "Kootie Pie ends up getting the present she deserves." That present: a wake-up call that nobody likes a brat.
What can I say about this episode? Well, nothing really. Although it is more well-constructed than Sneaky, Lying Cheating, Giant Ninja Koopas, Reptiles in the Rose Garden is pretty boring. I mean, you hardly see a lot of action. However, it is nice to see Mario don a Frog Suit and it's pretty interesting that Mario and Luigi wore Hammer Brother Suits (even though it's more of a disguise than a power-up). Kootie Pie fans would probably like this episode, as it's mostly focused towards her, from her actions to her personality. Other than that, unless you like Kootie Pie Koopa, it's not really memorable. Then again, if you watch this and My Super Sweet Sixteen you hardly see the difference between Kootie Pie and the girls.
